(Some More Of) My Favorite Media Friendships
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| Image description: The bond between the crew of a Star Trek series is so important to how the show flows, and Star Trek: The Next Generation's crew, pictured here, is no exception. But for today's post, all about some more of my favorite friendships in media, I focus on only two of the characters pictured here. Can you guess who? Hint: it may not be who you expect. |
For all these reasons, discussing great friendships in media
is very important to me. In a post last year, I specifically discussed four of
my favorite friendships in media and why I think they’re spectacular. Today,
I’d like to come back to this vast topic and look at four more friendships I
love and why I think they’re so great. For this post, like the last one, I want
to focus on bonds that are purely platonic friendships, rather than, for
instance, mentor/mentee relationships or parental roles. I also decided that,
for the sake of choosing four friendships and not getting completely carried
away, I’d focus solely on duos for this post, much like I did for the first
one. I might discuss great platonic group dynamics at some point in the future,
as I feel there’s a lot of great ones to talk about (as always), but for today,
let me highlight four more of my favorite platonic and amazing friend duos
across media.
Captain
Jean-Luc Picard and Guinan from Star Trek: The Next Generation
Why are Guinan and Picard so spectacular that they just beg
to be discussed? To start, the wise counsel Guinan provides to Picard is second
to none. It’s amazing seeing an intellectual captain like Picard place so much
trust in Guinan’s opinions, and to see the way she advises him like no one else
can makes their friendship an extremely special one amid a crew full of great
bonds. I also love that it’s not just Picard relying on Guinan that makes this
friendship special; rather, Guinan – a being who has lived for hundreds of
years – considers Jean-Luc just as special. Both Picard and Guinan consider
themselves “beyond friends and beyond family,” and again, I love that this
takes on a completely non-romantic slant.
In fact, while poking around on the Star Trek wiki,
Memory Alpha, I encountered an interesting quote from the franchise’s creator
Gene Roddenberry regarding the relationship between these two characters: “I
will say that friendship is a much broader thing than most people understand.”
While I can’t be entirely sure what Roddenberry’s thoughts were regarding these
two characters and what exactly he means by this statement, it seems to me like
he’s acknowledging that friendships are deep and complex things, much like
Guinan and Picard’s description of their bond seems to signal. I love the idea
of friendships that defy description, bring comfort, and allow for growth of
both characters.
In general, trying to pick just one friendship to talk about
in a Star Trek series is nearly impossible, but because I cherish male-female platonic bonds where both parties are respected and allowed to rely
on each other in totally non-romantic ways, it seemed like a no-brainer for me
to talk about these two. In my opinion, the best relationships of any kind are
not shallow, and that especially includes friendships, which Picard and Guinan
prove so well. Their shared history and the depth of both characters leads to
some of the best moments and most important conversations in TNG and possibly in all
of Star Trek, making their connection even more special and long-lasting
to this very day.
Eleven and Max
from Stranger Things
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| Image description: Max (on left) and El (on right) |
Perhaps my favorite thing about El and Max’s friendship is
the organic way it develops. Max is introduced in the show’s second season,
during a time when El is missing and her friends assume she’s gone forever.
When El returns, she’s cold to Max, assuming the other girl is trying to assert
herself into the friend group in El’s absence, an emotion which makes sense for
young kids to feel – especially El, for whom her relationships with “the
Party,” Mike in particular, are some of the only friendships she’s ever had.
I’m so glad that the show’s third season didn’t continue El’s standoffishness
to Max, but also didn’t jump right into the two being besties. In fact, when El
goes to Max for advice in season three, it’s clear Max is a little hesitant,
probably remembering El’s initially hostility towards her. However, they’re
soon able to connect and begin a friendship in earnest, with Max teaching El a
valuable lesson: “there’s more to life than stupid boys.”
El and Max’s friendship goes beyond just their youthful fun
at the mall in season three, however. Not only does Max help El gain new
confidence and expand her horizons, but Max finds a much-needed friend and ally
in El, especially when things begin running wild, as they tend to do in Stranger
Things. Their friendship not only makes sense for the characters, but it
works very well within the third season’s plot. The third season of the show is
not my favorite, but Max and El’s friendship developing is a bright spot in my
opinion, as it allows both characters to grow and flourish. This is something that
continues even more in the show’s fourth season, where friendship saves Max’s
life on multiple occasions, especially her friendship with El.
One of the big themes of Stranger Things is growing
up and the struggles therein; as such, we see a lot of the struggles our friend
groups go through to survive the changes in their dynamics and themselves as
they begin to become adults. But of all the friendships that hit rocky patches,
El and Max’s friendship seems to be strong and enduring. I like to think that’s
because El and Max meet each other on equal footing. They’re both unique in
their own ways, and as the show goes on, they’re each carrying a lot of pain
and personal struggles, but they help each other in their own ways, as only a
good best friend can. I love the journey they take together, from somewhat adversarial
to two people who really care about one another, for whom friendship is the
thing that helps them on their perilous quest. It’s no wonder I chose an image
of El and Max to represent my most recent “Recommendations From Friends” post, because
their bond reminds me of all the things that are best about friendships, both
in real life and in media.
Mary Crawley and Tom Branson from Downton Abbey
Over the years, they come to really admire one another as
people and to genuinely respect each other’s opinions. They even come to see
each other as family, which I think is extremely poignant and moving. I
especially enjoy that the two are allowed to love each other in a way that is
somewhat family, somewhat friendship, and all parts platonic. At one point in
the series, when Tom is hoping for Mary’s support in something, he says she’ll
support him if she loves him, to which she smiles and agrees that in that case,
she surely has to support him. To me, it’s proof of how far two mismatched
characters can come if they’re allowed to develop and grow (both with each
other and separately), and I think the potential for that is extremely inspiring.
Any long-time reader of the blog knows I have issues with
how Downton Abbey treats Lady Mary, especially in later seasons. In
order to push Mary into a relationship she says she doesn’t want but we’re clearly
supposed to think she does, the writing does use Tom as a sort of mouthpiece
for one of my least favorite tropes – that of someone “denying themselves happiness”. I hate that the writing uses Tom and Mary’s strong bond and the
trust they have in each other to do this, but if there is a silver lining to
this dark cloud, it’s that it proves there is indeed a bond of trust between
them in the first place (I really struggle to justify the show’s sixth season,
what can I say?).
Despite those moments that feel to me like a violation of
character, Mary and Tom as a duo will always be special to me. They go beyond
just the relationship of a sibling-in-law pair and transcend from just “family
by marriage” to “family by choice,” which is why I consider them a friendship
and not just a family dynamic. Mary especially has been known to quarrel with
her family or struggle within their system, but with Tom, it always seems like
she has a confidant; meanwhile, Tom struggles to be a part of the Crawley
family, but from the moment he marries Sybil, Mary is always in his corner.
From the way they care about each other, to the way they help and support one
another through good times and bad once Tom joins the family, their bond will
always be a special one, and the type of friendship I’d love to see more of.
Yuri Katsuki
and Phichit Chulanont from Yuri on Ice
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| Image description: Yuri (in the background) and Phichit (plus one of his pet hamsters) (in the foreground) |
But, for the sake of this post, I chose one of my other
favorite friendships from the series – that between Yuri Katsuki and Thai
skater Phichit Chulanont. They aren’t featured as heavily as some of those
other relationships are, but when they are together on screen, I think their
bond really shines. Phichit is a bright, happy, optimistic skater who is
excited for his professional future, while Yuri is plagued with self-doubt and
worries about his own. But at different points during the show, their bond is
important to Yuri’s journey. Because part of Yuri’s struggle is thinking he
disappointed his friends during his previous failures, I love that Phichit is
always shown to be unflinchingly supportive of Yuri in everything. That bright,
excited attitude trickles into what Yuri does and his own career, such as when
Phichit is thinking about his own goals and says to Yuri, “and you’ll be there
too, promise, okay?”
This scene is brief, but absolutely adorable to me. Phichit
wants to do his best, but wants to do so with his friend by his side; and
whenever Yuri reaches out to Phichit for help, the Thai skater is always there
for him. This also comes out in hilariously cute ways, such as when he
mistakenly think Victor and Yuri got married and is very loudly overjoyed by
this fact in public. Even when it’s misplaced, Phichit is genuinely happy for
Yuri and eager to support his friend which, again, is even better when you
consider Yuri’s anxieties making him think that people are embarrassed of him. Phichit’s
helpful, supportive, unconditional friendship with Yuri, although a small part
of the series, elevates it dramatically in my opinion and makes them one of my
favorite media friendships in general.
Honorable
Mention: Zagreus and Dusa from Hades
Beyond just their bond being terrific, the fact that Dusa
has those AroAce vibes makes their friendship even more noteworthy, especially
because Zagreus completely honors this fact – a rare thing indeed in most media. At
the beginning of this post, I mentioned that media too often encourages us to
think of friendships as bad consolation prizes, but to me, Dusa and Zag’s
friendship completely debunks that notion. From what I saw of these two, the
way Zagreus is always respecting Dusa’s comfort level and genuinely enjoys
being around her is terrific. Rather than seeing her and her aspec nature as a
burden, it actually allows their friendship to flourish even more, which is
something I deeply appreciate. I would love to see more relationships like
this, where two people are allowed to care about one another, feel good in each
other’s company, and draw strength from their bond, while also respecting aspec
vibes. So, even though I’ve not played the game, to me Dusa and Zagreus
represent an amazing step in the right direction when it comes to writing better
friendships – aspec or otherwise.
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As stated earlier, I feel it’s vitally important to point
out the good friendships in media and what makes them so good in a specific
work. Sometimes, it’s friends who support each other with gentleness and
kindness. Other times, it’s friends who help each other through the worst of
times with encouragement and compassion. Maybe it’s a friend who is there to
provide wise council, a helping hand, or a nudge in the right direction when a
friend goes astray. But how ever they express their friendship, the best
platonic bonds are (in my opinion) almost always built on things like trust,
mutual respect, and understanding for the other person. Rather than always
expect these things will become romantic or that only romantic relationships
can have them, it’s great to show that friendships can be just as deep and
important to life. After all, romance can’t possibly do it all, as I’ve
discussed before on this blog, nor should it be expected to.
And beyond it being important to find and celebrate these
relationships, in my experience it’s also a lot of fun. Being able to look at
these diverse types of relationships and enjoy them for what they are makes a
piece of media even better, in my opinion. I love a good romance and love
seeing characters fall in love, but I also love seeing relationships of all
kinds deepen, and that includes seeing characters set their feet on the path of
a good, strong, long-lasting friendship. These examples today are once again
just a few of the friendships I love in media, but they serve as a good
reminder that platonic bonds are valid, deep, and worthy of being explored and
cherished.
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